Kathy from Calpine told me about this sad incidence and I just could not believe it. All this time she was sick, and I never realized how sick she was or how courageous she was in fighting this battle. Though we were not that close, I still feel I have lost such a great friend. She was my director. She was always encouraging and supportive of me and a lovable person in general. Though Zhiyun could not attend my wedding in Sep '07, she did look through the pictures and shared the moments. I love the fact that she made each and every one of us feel very special. It's a rarity to have enjoyed the company of wonderful people like her. I feel honored to have known Zhiyun.

Portland Coast Christmas 99

结交志云是我人生中最大的收获。她总能保持迷人的微笑，在任何时候；她总能有不同的想法，对任何topic；对她看来，时间不是东西(好像是她的原话)，未曾存在过，所以也就没有始终。志云有自己的道，是我唯一的道友，也是我永恒的对手。可怜吾辈凡夫俗子，不能挣脱那一维的束缚，再也不能和志云坐而论道了。

You were in grad school; I was still in college. A rainy day, I peeked out from a moving car, caught a glimpse of you: You were walking, an umbrella in hand. A black and heavy braid nested around from the back of your neck, resting comfortable on and down your chest. Calm, posed, gazing ahead, you walked in the rain, step by step, as if no one were around, as if you were the only person in the universe, the pincess of the universe. May your spirit find home and rest in eternity. I miss you and hope to see you again one day.

志云一直在我的MSN上，但这一年鲜少敲上几个字，就在31日，我还发了新年快乐，没有回音。今天看到地址上有一个网址，打开来看，没想到......今年打过几个电话，竟然不知道她的病，唉...... 我和志云是从小在一个大院长大的，“发小”。我的三国来自志云在去小学的路上一段段的绘声绘色，我的中国象棋是志云教我的，我的第一张彩色照片是志云爸爸替我们照的，我还记得我们一起学数学，然后志云跳了级......我第一次看《飘》、《黄土地》都是在志云家里，志云在北大时，我还去看《克莱默夫妇》，我们还分享小说《千江有水千江月》......太多太多的点点滴滴，志云聪明、才情、毫气，象她的名字：壮志凌云。 我们谈过她上MBA的选择，谈过她欧洲行的收获......志云的生命是多彩的，此时此刻，我只希望志云完成了她的心愿....也希望志云的父母能节哀顺变......

知道志云去世的消息是在2008年的新年。从最初震惊的醒来，感觉最深的是痛惜和遗憾。在过去的一个多星期来，我总是忍不住地想起她来，想起和她认识来的点滴往事。 我是在2000年的8月在安然工作时认识志云的。我们在同一个小组工作，桌子挨着桌子。 我认识的志云是智慧的。在安然我是第一次接触到金融领域，很多的名词令人困惑。是志云用偏微分给我解释了它们的定义，让我豁然开朗。 我认识的志云是勤奋的。她经常工作到很晚。那个时候她通常坐公共汽车上班，以至公共汽车司机都问她是不是上夜班的。我们维护的系统非常的复杂，志云在很短的时间熟悉了整个系统。志云最受我们用户喜欢。他们有问题，打电话来总是第一个想到她。志云说一口漂亮的英语，又非常熟悉风险管理，总是很快就能找出问题的所在。 我认识的志云是开朗健康的。她给我们讲笑话，讲她刚看过的电视连续剧。我现在还记得她给我推荐过二月河的作品。她的笑容是有感染力的，常常让人觉得原来生活可以这么简单快乐。 我认识的志云是内秀的。志云喜欢旅游，记得那次她去欧洲回来，我跟她要照片看，她给了我她的网站。我看到她的照片，也看到的她的游记。我现在还记得游记的名字是凤毛麟角游欧洲。我对着她的海鲜大餐垂涎，为她和游伴骑着scooter到处游玩担心，但给我留下最深刻印象的是她对各个画家的风格娓娓道来，如数家珍。可惜我没有记住她的网站，我真想再看一次她的游记。志云跟我说，她下一个最想去的洲是非洲。她还真地和同组的埃及姑娘学说埃及话。我好想有机会问问她，不知她的非洲之行是否真的成行。 志云，夜深了，可我还有很多的话没有说完。明天我会继续写的。晚安，志云.

Dear Zhiyun, I heard the news when I was by the Ganges River, Varanazi, India, a sacred river for people looking for enlightenment. I just want you know that I lit a candle for you and let it float on the river. I know that you will find it somewhere. It's for you, just for you!!! Your friends, Tom

Zhiyun, take care of yourself on the journey and enjoy in another world .____I'll run Susan G. Koman Race for Cure this year specially for you, My dear friend. Please bless me!__

志云去世了，很震惊，但不是太难过。因为知道，我们都会有那一天。只是，志云， 你走的太早了。 你是我的朋友中，第一个走的人。虽然，很久没有联络了，但常常会想起你，和老 公说起你。你是我认识的人中，唯一可以用‘智慧’两个字来形容的人。 记得，我结婚前一晚，很晚了，你打电话来，说，明天你就嫁了。。。 沮丧时，打电话给你， 你一句话，就把我点透了，我抓着脑袋，想半天，咦? 怎么你会比我自己都了解我昵？ 我要开心的想着你，因为你是个开心的人。你炒的菜很好吃，特别是红烧肉，记得 你要烧好久好久，还要放很多东西进去。还有你包的饺子。。我上骑马课，也是受 你的影响。和你出去玩，象军训一样，每天都安排得满满的，一天下来，玩是玩得 很好，但骨头都散了。。。 志云，你先走一步，等我把两个孩子养大，他们成家立业，有了自己爱的人，不需 要我这个老妈时，我再来找你玩。。。。

Dear O3: I love to call you this name. It belonged to you and will belong to you forever. "Don't tell me you are visiting me unless you have tickets booked" This is the last words I heard from O3, that was the summer of 2007 when I was in the bay area. I am so regretful that i did not make the trip to Houston. I still have your messages from msn: "I sort of miss you guys". Yes, I miss you too. I have to miss you forever. You will be missed by the left gang of 5. We love you,because you were so special. I remember the clean dorm room and tidy beds made by you every time we came back to campus from hometown. -- CN

亲爱的羊：从没想过你会这么早离开我们，几天来你的影子总在我眼前晃悠，每次看到的都是你出了鬼主意后坏坏地笑着的样子。你是我朋友中最特别的一个，遇到你以前，我从未见过一个象你这样精灵古怪的家伙。还记得，刚上大学不久你就对我进行了“高代”的启蒙教育；记得在宿舍里你教我们用扑克玩赌的游戏，咱们拿各种东西来充赌注，而最后我竟然让你引得把自己输给你做一天“奴隶”；还记得咱们给你认识的那个搞心理的当实验品，做心理测试，完了，人家说结论有问题，不肯给你，你非要，回来把那些有趣的结论念给我们听，满屋子笑得拾不起个来；你替CN给她男朋友织围巾时，“敲诈”她，大冬天让她给大家买冰激凌吃，结果她从北大跑到紫竹院里才买到；记得咱们做知识竞赛题，你因为不想等发奖，用咱们的一等奖和人家的二等奖换了，得意洋洋地捧了个大蛋糕回来，等知道一等奖的奖品时，屋里好几只都想痛扁你一顿；当我告诉别人，我同屋居然有一个连五花八门是哪五花哪八门、三姑六婆是哪三姑哪六婆都说得出来的人时，知道别人是怎么惊叹数学系居然有这样的奇货吗？你永远是那么的聪明、永远能带给我们那么多惊奇和快乐。如今你走了，丢下了所有爱你的人，而我们只能在梦里再看到你笑嘻嘻的样子，羊我真得好想你。 你的Miss

I'm Zhiyun's cousin. I just got the bad news this morning from my parents. I can hardly believe what I heard. In my memory, she is such a healthy, sunny and lovely girl. Because we live far from each other, I have met her only two or three times. Still, I was very impressed with her. I can still remember very clearly the first time I met her. It was on our grandpa's 80th birthday. I was in my junior high school years then, and she was already a student of Beijing University. I saw her playing some poker riddles with my other elder cousins and she was always the winner. She was so smart and I admired her so much. She also played small games with me. We wrote on each other's back then told the other what letter it was. I was so happy playing with her. I wish my dear sister health, joy and happiness in the heaven.

I'm Zhiyun's cousin. I just got the bad news this morning from my parents. I can hardly believe what I heard. In my memory, she is such a healthy, sunny and lovely girl. Because we live far from each other, I have met her only two or three times. Still, I was very impressed with her. I can still remember very clearly the first time I met her. It was on our grandpa's 80th birthday. I was in my junior high school years then, and she was already a student of Beijing University. I saw her playing some poker riddles with my other elder cousins and she was always the winner. She was so smart and I admired her so much. She also played small games with me. We wrote on each other's back then told the other what letter it was. I was so happy playing with her. I wish my dear sister health, joy and happiness in the heaven.

I'm Zhiyun's cousin. I just got the bad news this morning from my parents. I can hardly believe what I heard. In my memory, she is such a healthy, sunny and lovely girl. Because we live far from each other, I have met her only two or three times. Still, I was very impressed with her. I can still remember very clearly the first time I met her. It was on our grandpa's 80th birthday. I was in my junior high school years then, and she was already a student of Beijing University. I saw her playing some poker riddles with my other elder cousins and she was always the winner. She was so smart and I admired her so much. She also played small games with me. We wrote on each other's back then told the other what letter it was. I was so happy playing with her. I wish my dear sister health, joy and happiness in the heaven.

我是在一月五号得知志云姐去世的消息，但直到现在我才能接受这个残酷的事实---她曾是那么一个充满活力的人！我们早知道她罹患癌症，却都理所当然地认为她肯定能安然度过，毕竟亲人中有过成功的先例。 当志云姐还在国内时，我们的书信往来比较密切，她象一个大姐姐一样地听我抱怨、告解，用她特有的不露痕迹的方式给我指导，虽然实际上她不过只比我大两岁。她就是这样一个人，随时为亲人朋友的需要准备着，把她的快乐传递给她爱的人。但有时候我更希望她也能让我们分担她的烦恼。 在志云姐走的那天晚上，我梦见了爷爷，他是来接他最亲爱的外孙女的吗？生平第一次，我希望自己是个有信仰的人，相信有天堂，有来生，相信灵魂不死。

Dear Baochun, Thanks for telling me the news. I actually heard it from Jazmine right after she talked to you. I was very shocked by the news. She was the smartest and most knowledgable girl I've known. When I was president of Portland Chinese Friendship Association, she volunteered a lot work for us. I remember one year, she and Abbie volunteered a whole riddle section for us, from finding the riddles, printing them out, and set the room up to prizes, she and Abbie did it all, and did it happily. She always told me to let her know if we need any help. This is such a sad news. It really caught me off guard. I remember she and the group of girls around you played together a lot along with some single boys like Luo DanHui and Tang Dezheng. I wonder if she kept contact with them after she moved to Houston? I know Tang Dezheng is in San Jose area, but don't know whereabouts of Luo DanHui. It will be especially hard for her parents. I remember she's the only child. Please pass my condolences to them. I really appreciate it that At this point of our lives, especially when most of us have young kids at home and a family to take care of and a job to deal with, you and other friends of Zhiyun will go from Portland OR and bid the final farewell to her at Houston, it tells us a lot about Zhiyun. I really appreciate it. Please share any details about her illness and last moment with us if you could hear any. Please take good care of yourself as I told Jazmine. If we don't take good care of ourselves, we are not responsible to our family and kids. Of course, a lot sicknesses are either predictable nor preventable, but if we get sick because we neglect our own health, we become burdens to our loved ones. We don't want this to happen at all. I know you have a pretty healthy life style, I am saying this to warn myself more than anything else, especially at my age. I actually physically feel I am heading downhill, but I still try to pitch in more effort and time than I am able to. Thanks again for the email. Please keep me posted for any follow up stories. Liying Zheng

In early 2006, Breast-Cancer-Virus was detected on Zhiyun; she updated the anti-virus software and removed the questionable parts at then. The system was running fine and under control for another year. However in mid of 2007, the system scan reported the virus has spread to other disks and CPUs of Zhiyun’s system. Zhiyun choose her own way and faith to kill Cancer-Virus. Even the virus has spread on Zhiyun, she is still trying to work part-time and do as much calculations as she can. From September to December, Zhiyun tried to install alternative Chinese software to kill the virus; however, it cannot control the Cancer-Virus either. At the night of Dec 25th, 2007, Zhiyun was hospitalized. At 1:30 PM, Dec 30th, 2007, Zhiyun finally made her decision to abandon her localhost and failed over to her DR in Heaven. She is now functioning happily in Heaven with full capacity and brand new disks, CPUs and Memories.