i wish i got to meet my brother


He was may brother , a man no able to be replaced , as many other lost one's , i miss him deeply , he has ownership of 90% of my heart , and always will , each day i hurt , and it grows stronger every minute , what if is the main question ! . i did not get to see him as a father of a teen ager only and infent . i did not get to go on family holidays , i did not get the chance to make him and uncle nor a brother in law , all i gave him was a mess up of a 20 year lld brother only a brother could love and understand . know one knows me as he did , now no one will every know me . he took our memories to the gave . only i hold the thoughts in my heart and not even my loved ones have the key , as no one in my life held a stronger power then chad and i . i was born on his 3rd birthday making it my 18th and his 21st . evry christmas every birthday every fathers day haunts me . i often picter my brother in the passenger seat , at the pub next to me , in a fight side by side , in the court room pleading my innocents , but truth be told he is not . i belive in no god , all though i do belive i will meet this extrordinay humen being one day soon . i will make u proud one way or another brother , even if it kills me and it will ! ill do my best to provide for your daughter and family and fiance . but i will promise to make things right in my life first . i have not delt with you death on lite grounds , but more so have kept in a bottle for me and me only , i will not share this with any one as our memories are ours and no one would understand them as we would , your death will be the end of me ,


when i was living with a friend in corrimal and chad was living around the corner he used 2 come over all the time and we would lay on my bed and just talk about crap 4 hrs! another of my favorite memories was in school he used 2 ask me out like every day and send me notes in class asking me out every day.... it used 2 drive me crazy and i threw a chair at him one day but no matter what i did he would keep asking and asking and asking..... whenever i had detention he would wait around 4 me and double me home it was really sweet, that was chad the sweetest guy! x