Well baby, 12 months has passed since you left and it's been the longest, loneliest 12 months of my life. I never factored in to you leaving before me - it was always meant to be me first. I cannot understand why this has happened. You got over the last bout of cancer and for us it was business as usual however this time it came and you went. I don't understand it or why. Not long after you left, Debbie told me you had told her that you wouldn't recover from this but you never told me and I'll like to know why you didn't talk to me about it. If only we had known then I would never had gone to Darwin and we would have been together more. I've had a hard time accepting the whole situation. I miss you terribly. I wake up in the middle of the night calling your name and would give anything to have you in my arms just one more time. I hope to Christ there is something more than our existence on earth and we will be together again but as I said I hope and can only live with that hope. As you know Molly passed away not long after you and Dominic is still with your parents. He'll be coming to Canberra with me when I get home but I am worried as to how he will go with the cold. I can only wait and see how he will react to all the changes but one thing I promise you I will look after him. I lost my wedding ring the other day in a poxy little backwater port called Djibouti. I was hauling in lines for the ship and because the lines were wet and I have lost a little bit of weight (I stress a little bit) it was enough for it to fall off and into about 16 metres of filthy water. There was no chance of recovering it so It's gone. I was devastated - I cried, yes cried and had to walk away from the ship. Anyway I've asked Ruth if she would consider returning your first wedding set and I would get it melted down and another ring made, however I've had no answer from her about it. Not sure if she didn't get it (but I did include it in an Email to Jonathan) however I'll ask her again. Happy to pay for them - whatever they want. Jonathan suggested I use the chain you bought me, that was to small for me, and I gave to Beverly. A great idea, but I'll wait to see what Ruthie says. Christmas is in Melbourne at Scott and Ruth's so I'll venture down there - will give me an opportunity to catch up with Frank also. Well my darling, as you know, I'm always nattering on to you in my mind and in my sleep. As I said, I miss you. You are my world and I often find myself in tears for not particular reason apart from something will remind me of you and off I'll go - I think I've found my feminine side and I don't really like it. I do however love you!!! And will always!! I never thought my world would end up like this and yet here I am. I have thought about joining you, I have to be honest. Sometimes the prospect of being with you is very appealing, very, very appealing. But I'll wait and see how things pan out. I'm finding it very hard without you. You were and are my centre of gravity and without you I am pathless. I really don't know what I am doing here without you and it would be so easy to join you. But I do have Dominic and Bruce - without them well - we will wait and see. I love you honey. I cannot say it enough and it you are out there listening to me then I'll say it again, I love you. You are my world and I love you babe. Your husband eternally.
Cas, You will never know how much my father loved you. It is extremely hard to see him so upset yet it makes me so happy to see him smile when he remembers all the good times you shared together. Thank you for having such a positive impact on his life and I know your looking down on him and keeping him safe. I just wish you were here to tell you this to you face. You will always be missed xxx
Dear Carol-Anne, When I think of you, I smile. My memory of you is of meals shared, laughs shared and of the twinkle in your eyes. When I think of you, I send you a smile, as I am sure that you are smiling with us too. We miss you, friend.
Its been a very long time since I have seen Cas, however I remember going to the Castle Hill pub every Friday with her for wine and Buffalo wings. I am never sure how we made it home safely, but we were always laughing and happy. Cas met Des and her world lit up. She was always talking about her little niece and sister, she was a very proud Aunty.
Everywhere I look I think of you. Not a day goes by without you in my mind. I have your perfume and spray it on the bed so I can smell you. I found the video you did when we were on the yatch in March, on my phone (it saved onto the computer when we updated the Iphone) and although you only say three words, I listen to it often just to hear your voice. You are never far from me but it's just so hard knowing that you are not around. Even where I am now I see things that I think you'll like - crystal for example - and as silly as it sounds not buying it for you is hard. You are the last thing on my mind when I go to sleep and the first thing when I wake up. There's jsut no denying it baby, I love you and always will. God I miss you......
Hi Sweetheart, it is now June 2012, our memories of you and our love for you have not diminished, you are always in our thoughts