Just thinking of you and knowing that you are still here. Just watch over alex and take care, he looks like you more n more everyday. He has so many of your reflections.

HI THERE, I JUST WANTED TO WRITE AND SAY THAT I KNOW THAT YOU ARE OUT THERE SOMEWHERE. I KEEP DREAMING OF YOU AND YOUR ALRIGHT- JUST PERFECTLY HEALTHY AND NOT A THING WRONG. YOU ARE WITH ME EVERYWHERE. I KEEP THIS TO MYSELF. I DON'T WANT PEOPLE TO THINK I AM CRAZY OR STUCK , BUT I DO KNOW THAT YOU STILL EXIST. IN SPIRIT OR JUST MEMORY YOUR ALWAYS COMING TO ME AND TELLING ME THAT EVERYTHING IS OK AND IS GOING TO BE OK. I DONT KNOW WHAT MAKES ME DREAM OF YOU, LAST NITE I DREAMED ME N ALEX WERE AT THE BEACH LAYING IN THE SAND AND I HEARD SOMEONE CALL OUT YOUR NAME AND LOOKED UP AND THERE YOU WERE NOT FAR FROM US LAYING IN THE SAND TOO! YOU LOOKED SO YOUNG AND REFRESHED AS IF YOU WERE JUST BRAND NEW. WE TALKED OF COURSE AND THEN I HAD TO WAKE UP. IT SEEMED SO REAL. MAYBE ITS THE PREGNANCY HORMONES OR MAYBE YOU ARE JUST COMING TO VISIT, I DUNNO. THANKSS THOUGH FOR WHATEVER IT IS. I NEED THAT REASSURANCE THAT YOU ARE OK. I KNOW YOU R GONE BUT YOU ARENT IN MY HEART. LOVE ..

Time absolutely flys by these days and It seems like therre isnt enough time for anything anymore. I am 6 months pregnant today and I can't believe that I have made it this far with all of the problems that I have encountered. Franklin is nothing alike I thought he would be during all this and it makes me sad but. I see how hard single mothers have it now, I know that Heather probally has a tough time so keep watching over her and your son and help them through the storms. I have oftened wandered if you die the minute you get what you want or you are finally a bit happy in your life. I hope that is not the case . Alex is really growing up and doing some things I would prefer him not to be doing at this age - he really needs a dad, but he aint got one, and honestly I am not sure if it would matter if ou were here seeing as to how you treated him bf you left. Just watch over him and maybe one day he will get over that and forgive you. I often wander if I made a mistake by leaving or if it was the best choice that couldve been made? I know that we all make mistakes , but. I wander too if you and my grandpa are chatting. He died Friday last week , eaten up with cancer and it is so sad. I almost wander if we will all die from this horrible disease. I keep going to the dr and getting checked and they are very aggressive with me but any minute I could be dying from the same thing and it saddens me. Alex is not ready to be without us both. Plus he has a baby sister coming soon that needs her momma. I hope that you look down on us all and keep us in your thoughts for we all have a place in Heaven and I hope to see ya there. If you do see my pa pa tell him I said I love him. I still have dreams of you and grandma and you both tell me all is well and we sit with each other and chat and it makes me feel good. I feel like you are coming to me from where you are to let me know that everything is going to be alright and just because you are not here physically doesnt mean you are not here at all. I wish that I had made some better choices for myself, I am so burnt out on certain things and you know me , I still don't talk to no one. I cant trust a living soul- I just keep talking to Jesus. I feel like he is the only one I can trust. I know he probally gets tired of hearing me but i also know he listens and helps me in anyway he can. I know that this is a computer I am talking to but this site is for you and I hope that you maybe do hear what i write, Happy Fourth of July.

You have been gone for two years now today. I have been away from you for almost the past five years of my life and you would think that I wouldn't still think of you but I do. I pray that you are resting in Heaven looking down on us all, how silly some of us act . Thats the real word-ACT. People disgust me but you already know that. You will always be in my heart and mind and so will all the memories of all the things we got to do together - the good and the bad. I am sure that you aware of all the health problems that I am having right now, and it just makes me think that God does have a time and a plan for us all. maybe we should ve stuck together and worked it out - maybe you would be here and maybe I would too in the future, i pray and hope for the best but you know how life and reality of what could happen can get us down. Hopefully it will be a long while beofre we meet again - I got to make sure alex grows up and makes something of himslef before I leave this earth but know that we do think of you and miss you all the time and wish that things werent the way they are.. Time goes on and people go on and I will never go on without you .. we love you and miss you and this day sucks for a many friends and family and I just ask that you are with every one of us at some point in the day or night, k. well i will write back to you soon and just know that we are thinking of you..

Hi , I know that its been a couple of months since I have visited, i am sorry. I know that you are always here in spirit though . Your mom sent some flowers for me to put on your headstone and they are beautiful. I took Alex up with me, he is so much like you, sometimes i wander if you are sitting there , using his body as your voice. I miss you everyday and love you forever. You are a major part of my life and i promise i will never forget. I cried so hard the other nite, me n your mom was talking back and forth- she is filled with so much pain as we all are but i just ask you to place your hands on her and lwt her know that you are there with her and loving her still!!! I love your mom so much and it made me so happy that she sent the flowers to me to place. I cant wait to see her, although i dont want to cry anymore. yeah right i know., i miss you and try to continue in life. some are good days some are bad. i wish that i could call you or come see you or sit on your lap for real and you tell me that you love me and understans and that things are okay in person instead of in my dreams. well i must go get alex but i will be back sooner . love me . always.

everyday your name comes up or a passing thought, a glimpse that looks like you. I try so hard to fight the pain, i fight thinking of you , but it doesnt matter, for you are always present. i miss you so badly and just want to talk to u. I hate the way Iife is, it sucks! you should still be here with us all getting ready for christmas and celebrating. me sitting here wander if you are happy and if you get what you want. silly me. I may have left and all but you never left my mind. I wanted to talk to you so badly, but I also wanted you to be happy and I felt like that meant us not talking..you ask if i regret that now? well of course you know every thought in my mind. I want you here for Alex so bad. He really needs you and things were not suppose to be this way. I just dont understand why some things happen the way that they do. I appreciate the birthday wishes too!! I am so glad that i had a witness!!! oh Rob, what got you so far away and what made you get on that bike. I will never know , but i promise it will have me guessing forever. missing you always, me.

Rob, I miss you so much!!! I would give anything to go back or to just have a few minutes with you. I am so sorry and I will always love you so much!!! I am taking great care of Alex and he is getting so big!! Trying out for football- I know thats not what you wanted but like you I can't hold him back from what he wants!! Please watch over him and keep him safe!!!

Me and Alex decided to make up a page for you - and of course you know why. I want to say that we miss you and we know that you are always here. You , grandma and grandpa were me and Alex's only family for over a decade and we miss you all so , so , so much. I know that things ended quickly the day I walked out that door- but again you understand why. I still have all of our pictures, cards that you give to me-yeah I know there is alot!! lol. I decided almost four years ago that I would save all those things so that Alex and me would always have something of the life we lived for so long. My whole house is filled with you and grandma that way anywhere we look there is a remembrance of the love , fun & bad times that we all shared. I am glad to this day that I have these memories to look at and the ones that I have in my head. I pray that one day Alex can understand what you did and why- I talk to him about it, maybe its because he is 12 and is as hard headed and stubborn as you were- he still is so angry with you. I talk to God and ask that he takes the anger from him so that one day he can forgive you. Please talk to him . The honda that you bought me in is still around too- I will never let it go. She is so pretty too!! Franklin really has done alot to her and has even given her a new look !!! When I sit down I can look over and still see you sitting there. We may have not been together but we were for along time and there was a strong love that we shared- A bond that will never be broken - not even by death. I look back and think about us and how it all happened and I am just so blessed to have known you , you gave me a beautiful son and then another- I think it was God's will for us to part when we did though because he already knew that you were going to be coming home soon and he knew that me and Al wouldn't be able to handle it and you were also able to bless Sarah and Heather with two beautiful children. I have had alot of time to sit and think and to this day I have no regrets. The only regret is that in June of 06 you never had anything else to do with Alex and that is why he is so angry. I guess that we will never know why you chose that, but again in time all questions will be answered, and I pray in time again that Alex will heal and forgive you. Everyone tells us that I wouldnt let you see him anymore but me and Alex both know different- so whisper in his ear and let him know why. I know deep down he misses you and loves you. All of your friends here in Concord miss you as well and I some of them I havent even seen- please watch over them . I come to visit the cemetary- even though you r not there- your mom placed such a beautiful headstone. I have to go now. I will write to you later.