It's been over a year since I made my las entry in here, but the memory of YOU Mom is very alive in my mind every single day. Not a day goes by that I don't think of you and, I miss you just as much. A lot has changed in a year, in my personal life some for the better, and others not but, I am keeping faith in that GOD has never failed me, even in my most desperate of times. Triston is doing well, he is in 8th grade now. Can't believe how much he has grown. He's a great kid! Mom, I will love you forever and, hope that one day we will all be together again as a family. You were my best friend, and always there for me when I needed you. I could count on you for anything and, just knowing that my mom was so devoted to her children made you even that more special! Let my brother Junior know that I love him very much too! Love you MOM Jenny & Triston

Auust 28, 2008 Mom, I know this will make you happy. Triston talked with his other Grandma yesterday, Grandma Benita. She was so happy to hear my voice, and asked about Triston. I told her he was in school, but, that she could call him after school. Well, she called him, and both of them talked for a while. He ws very happy to hear from her. Mom, things are going ok here, your death is still something I think about everyday. Wish you were here, We really miss you ! I'm just stopping in to let you know im thinking of you. I will write some more later. My Beautiful "Londing" Miss you more than words can express!!!

August 24, 2008 It's one month today since you passed away Mom, and I still think of you on a daily basis. I say prayers for you, and Junior every night, and keep you both close to my heart in thought. I am wearing one your blouses today, wanted to feel your close to me on this day. Its a White blouse ith Purple strips. I remember you wearing it, and can envision you with it on. I was also looking through some photos, and spotted one of you, and Robby, when he graduated from High School. You both look so beautiful, You the proud Grandma, and he the proud graduate. It's Sunday today,and just as every Sunday that has gone by without you, I wish you were here. I miss picking you up, with Triston and going shopping, but most of all I MISS YOU MOM! Tomorrow is Triston first day back to school, he is starting the 7th grade in a new school. He seems excited to go back, hopefully he will have a good school year. He misses you a lot too, Mom. He says you are the bestest Grandma ever. He prays for you every night too. Mom, I ask myself one question over and over again since your death, and maybe I will never know the answer, because you are not here to tell me. When you got sick and I went to see you in the emergency room, you were talking, and asked me to take your purse home with me, so I could safe guard it for you. You also had a white ice pack, and asked that I take it home with me too, and hold it for you. The ice pack was not used, it was new, so I took it, put it in my bag and took it home. I really didn't think much of it because I knew you wanted it to use it when you got back home. Well, things got worse with your illness, something I didnt expect, even though the doctors had confirmed that your illness was a late stage. I don't think you expected this either, since about two month prior you had went to see your doctor, for your annual surgery check up and they told you that you were doing great and no spread of cancer detected. I could tell you were happy when you told me, and of course I was just as happy too. I keep asking myself what happened?? They gave her a clean bill of health, and now two months later the cancer has spread all over?? And why did she deteriorate so rapidly after being admitted to the hospital? So many questions, but the main one is...Did my Mom know she was going to die? Did my Mom think she was going to be treated and sent back home with follow up? I keep telling myself that NO Mom did not know she was dying, because had she known it, she would had plan things in advance, she was so organized. I remember her calling me up the day she started feeling sick at home. She asked me to pick Triston up, because she thought that something she ate the night before had made her ill. She said she was throwing up something brown, and thought it could have been some Filipino Food she ate the night before that didn't agree with her. When I got to her house, she was sitting down with Triston, watching TV, and I asked how she felt, she told still a little sick in the stomach, but better. I stay with her for a few hours, and made her something to eat, she ate it, and I asked if there was anything else, she told me that she was starting to feel better. It was getting later, and she rushed me to go do the load of laundry I had in my car, I told her I would, but that I would also call her to check on her. I called several times after, and she said she was feeling much better I guess the question will always remain.........Did Mom not know? And, if she did, why give me an ice pack to hold for until she got home? Did the LORD whisper in her ear, I'm taking you home with me now?? MOM, You're in the Lords hands now, safe, and sound,and free from pain and suffering! GOD BLESS YOU MOM!

August 17, 2008 Today is Sunday, Its' almost 8:00am, and im sitting here at my computer thinking of you Mom. Sundays were "Our Days" the day reserved for you, Triston, and myself to spend time together. I'm already missing those days with you. I'm remembering how you would call me Sunday mornings to see if I was on my to pick you up, and remembering how simple trips to take you shopping or just getting something to eat would make you happy. I'm going to the cementry this morning with Triston. I just want you to know that you nor my brother Junior will ever be forgotten. Your memory will live on forever, in my heart and in Tristons as well. LOVE YOU MOM!

She loved to drink Diet Pepsi, go to Kentucky Fried Chicken,She also liked eating Ritz Crackers and eating Oatmeal in the mornings. She loved Sundays because it was the day of the week that my Mom and Me would take her shopping . My Gramma loved me so much, I know this because she always told me she did. I loved her too and always told her I loved her too. I miss my Gramma alot. I miss talking with her on the phone, and going over to visit her. My mom and me go to the cementry all the time since she died. We visit my uncle Junior and her. We ate lunch with her the other day. I know gramma is not there, she is up in heaven, but its nice to have a place where I can visit and havea quiet time with my Gramma and pray for her and my uncle Junior. Triston

To My Grandmother Roses are Red Violets are Blue Sundays will always be special Because I spent them with you I will love you forever And will always be true To your memory Ma I’m so glad God has you You’re under his wing now Ma Happily smiling down on me No more pain No more suffering You’re one of GODS Angel now protecting me You will always be the worlds best Grandma, and I will love you forever Ma Your boy Triston July 27, 2008

I dreamt of you last nite Mom. Not sure where you were, but I beleive you were at the hospital. There were others in the room, I could see them, but I don't know who they were. You were dressed, wearing clothes, that I was familiar to seeing you in. You were walking, and your eyes were alive ,and full of love. I was surprised to see how well you looked, just like the Mom I always knew. I kneeled before you, told you "I Loved You Mom", and you put your arms around me, hugged me, and told me you loved me too. Mom, I believe you were trying to let me know that you are OK now, and watching over me.

Do not stand at my grave and weep, I am not there, I do not sleep. I am in a thousand winds that blow, I am the softly falling snow. I am the gentle showers of rain, I am the fields of ripening grain. I am in the morning hush, I am in the graceful rush Of beautiful birds in circling flight, I am the starshine of the night. I am in the flowers that bloom, I am in a quiet room. I am in the birds that sing, I am in each lovely thing. Do not stand at my grave and cry, I am not there. I did not die.