To my beautiful Grandma, I am glad you had a good life and we got to spend so much time with you. I feel a deep respect and love for you. I feel terribly sad but it warms my heart a little knowing you had love and laughter in your life. I know you had health, peace, happiness and loving kindness towards others. I can't believe that I won't get to speak with you again or hear your voice. How could that be possible? I know your mind was filled with so many memories of your parents and university days. I do feel a sense of awe of so much of life you have witnessed since 1914 - it is breath taking. I am starting to get more of a sense of who you are. To me you have always been 'grandma' but you are so more than that to yourself. That is just one of the roles you have played in life. However, there are sides of you and parts of your life that I know very little of. I really miss you and I feel a sense of emptiness, quietness, heaviness as I miss you. I am in shock. I look at the busy world moving about and think "who cares" it all seems utterly meaningless in comparison to my feelings towards you. I felt your presence around me for the last few days but now I can slowly feel it is getting time for you to move on. Thank you for everything Grandma. Always know that I love you and you will always be remembered. I see you in my mind as happy now. As happy energy. As smiling and laughing like you did to the end. I wish more than anything that you would come back. I can't stop wishing that. I don't wish for anything else. I feel an ache in my chest and numb feelings in my arms. I am spending this time thinking of you and honoring your life. I am taking the time to really feel how much you mean to me.