created memory in Derek william Larsen
Just missing you a lot today ! I have no words ... You have been on my mind a lot today ! I just wanted to tell you that i love you so much and i miss you more then words could ever describe !!
Will never , ever stop missing you my special Uncle !
I love you !
Your birthday come and gone! You would have been 45 this year Dix. Getting on in years hey? How I wish you were here for me to actually tease you about your age. I miss you so my brother. Hope you had a party with the angels and mom, dad and Guy!
We approaching anther Christmas without you. This time round I am far from the family and it makes me miss yo even more. How I wish you were still with me. Nearly nine years since you been gone and I still miss you so much. I still think about you every single day. Have decided to go see a medium. Will you come through? I hop so. I would love to hear from you. I know you close though. I sense you. Never a scary of eerie thought. I just know you close. How is my mom? You so lucky to be with her. I wish she was still her as well.. Havn't heard from your kids for a while. Amanda had a baby. Cute little girl. Chase seems happy about it. Dylyn has broken up with his girlfriend and the last I heard he was very upset. He wanted to come stay by me but i have no place for him right now. Keren must be doing ok. I havnt heard anything form her. I hope she is ok. I would love to see Catherine again. What a cuite pie. We had such a good laugh the last time I saw her. A real 'belly' laugh. You would have loved to hear that. I picture you being an oupa. I think you would have loved them. I think if we had an extra year or two you would have been reunited with all of them. My heart breaks for thm that they never had that with you. Sharnei must be ok to. Hanvt heard from her either. I did see pics of the boys on FB and they are very cute. Growing up nicely now.
I miss you Dix. I love you
I miss you today as much as I missed you the day you passed. I come to your site and now mommy's site when things start getting tough. I wish you were here so i could bounce things off you. I am not saying you were the wisest person I knew :-) but at least you would always listen!
I have so much running through my head at the moment and I don't know which is the best way to handle this. I love my sisters so much and I hate to see what is going on here. I wish mom was here so I could talk to her about it. I know what she would say though "It is not your problem to fix Yvette. leave it alone. In time it will all come right". I hear the words and then I think "but mom, I know it hurts you to see us like this. I know you hated it when we fought so part of me NEEDS to fix it for you!!" I am so busy trying to work all this out and make sure each of us are ok that I am finding myself focusing on my sisters and not on the loss of my mom. I don't want to realise that six months have passed and only then do I START mourning mom. When you died it was just me. I had my kids and Alan but none of them were here through my mourning you. I had to walk that road alone and I am so determined none of them will feel alone so i am fighting to keep us together. Am I fighting a losing battle Dix? I hear what Ton says, I hear what Sha says and from what they say, I will never again have my sisters all together unless I am at a wedding or a funeral. That is sad. It makes my heart so very sore. What do I do? What would you tell me to do if you were here? What does God expect me to do about it? I just dont know any more.
I guess time alone will tell me what is the best way to handle all this.
I love and miss you Dix. I wish you were here.
created memory in Derek william Larsen
Happy fathersday , hope you doing well, I wish you were here. . Please give gran a big hug from me. I love you . Keren
You have mommy with you again after so many years. I am so happy for you but I miss her so very very much. I promised myself I was not going to go through this like I did when I lost you and here I sit three weeks and 4 days later and I am dying inside. I thought losing you was hard but it is a different loss this time. With you it was the emptiness, the habit, the every day memories that killed me. It took me three years to get to a point that I could talk about you without breaking. With mommy its different. It is the woman who gave me life, my mother. I just want to curl up into a little ball and die the hurt is so bad.
Dix give her the hardest biggest hug for me and let her know I love her. Tell her that I will honour her wishes if it is the last thing I do here on earth. Just love her my brother. Love her enough for all of us that she has left behind.
There is drama going on down here of which I am certain you are aware but my promise to you stays in tact and it always will. Your children will always know the truth from me and I believe as the kids get older, no one will be able to speak the rubbish that they try to do about you. Your kids WILL defend you because they will know that you loved them and that you made mistakes in your life but everyone of your sins have been forgiven and you are free, safely present with the Lord. I love you and I miss you. Look after mommy for me.
Hope you doing okay.. While I was reading trough the messages tears ran down my face.. Do you know how my heart aches for not knowing you or even met you. But I know you never stop looking for us.. Dad, my father.. I wish you where here... There is so much that I want to ask you... And tell you. Dad I never knew it could hurt this much , I could miss you this much.. Its like you are the part of me that I wiLl just never meet in life.. I'm so thankfull for Aunt yvette, she is a good person.. If I'm. Near her its almost as if I'm near you and Rene and Ang have made my life so much fuller.. They Care so much. I'm glad that I have met them and to be apart of them.. I geuss to get to know you is to be with them.. I love you my dear father and I forgive you for not being there for all of us.. It wasn't your fault. I hope oneday I would be able to speak to you.
Damn I am missing you today! I have not had such a 'bad day' in ages! Angie played a song this morning and said 'this is my song for Uncle D' and I have not been able to stop crying since! I am fighting with Tons (again) (whats new you ask)? and missing you has made it so much worse. I hate fighting with my sisters just like I hated fighting with you. I wish you were here so I could pick up the phone and say 'hey come visit I need to chat'! So much is happening and with mommy being ill I miss you more!
i NEVER KNEW LOSING YOU WOULD BE THIS HARD! I knew I wold miss you but after 8 years one would think that the ache in my heart would be different! It is not. it is exactly the same as it was in the first year that you were gone. I can still hear your voice! I can still hear your laugh! I can still hear you walking down the passage singing Michael Bolton at the top of your lungs!! God I wish you were still here.
I guess I need to pull myself together. My kids are all grown up now except for little Wazzie who you never met! Daz is engaged! You would be so proud of him. Big day on my birthday coming up and you not here to see it. Sit in Heaven with Dad and God and watch ok? I will listen for you.
I love you Dix. I miss you
If tears could build a stairway
And memories were a lane,
I would walk right up to heaven
To bring you home again.
No farewell words were spoken.
Not enough time to say good-bye.
You were gone before we knew it,
And only God knows why.
My heart still aches in sadness
And secret tears still flow.
What it meant to lose you,
No one will ever know.
I miss you my crazy brother, especially now when I think all your sisters need you.
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