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Anonymous
7 years ago

Happy 24th birthday..... i sit here making decor for your nephews baby shower... wow think your going to be a aunt.... oh the jokes i can hear you crack about your overly preggo sissy....i know im going to be a hot mess first time i see his little face... it will send many years rushing back on me... do me a favor hold your mom up ok.. gonna need back up on this one!!#... hope you liked the rose n cupcake.. i seen the waves creep in and take it out to you... i would of stayed longer this morning.. but it was so cold today on the beach... i love you mandy. Forever n ever more ... happy birthday

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Anonymous
8 years ago

Amanda. It's been a little over 6 years now. Me and Tyler miss you so much. We broke up all those years ago thinking that's what you wanted and now we think if you could see us do anything.it would be us keeping your memory alive. We go to cayucos together to yours and his spot and he tells me your stories and it makes me cry in happiness to see you in his eyes still. Some people would think this would hold a person back but you are what puts the mold in our relationship. Amanda I miss you everyday and Tyler does too. I have the box of love notes between you and Tyler sitting on my bed and the picture frame you made on my wall. I hope you can see how much I have been trying to make you proud. I drove Tyler to rehab 6 days ago and I hope you see that i embrace you and hope to make yours his and my memories together live on. I miss your laugh lil one

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Anonymous
10 years ago

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Meghan Chambers
11 years ago

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Meghan Chambers
11 years ago

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dani
11 years ago

I keep wondering when is it going to get easier, not a day goes by that i dont think about you. I think I drive everyone crazy cause I always tell everyone the stories about us. For some reason it feels like when I tell the stories your with me cracking up to. Growing up alone just isn't the same, i miss you

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Anita Elayne
11 years ago

I cannot believe in exactly two weeks it will be FOUR YEARS since you got your wings.... I miss you so much today... miss your uncanny ability to make me smile despite my giant hurricane of a cloud over my head. miss the way you talked, laughed and tried so hard every day to just be happy... to make everyone else's problems so much more bearable. I wish every day I could have done for you what you did for me.... every day for almost 4 years, that's roughly 1,460 days....Yes I did use a calculator. NO SHAME! <3 I hope you're sending me good luck from up in the clouds.... cause I'm definitely sending you lots of love from here on earth.<333 rest in peace angel....

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Anita Elayne
11 years ago

I cannot believe in exactly two weeks it will be FOUR YEARS since you got your wings.... I miss you so much today... miss your uncanny ability to make me smile despite my giant hurricane of a cloud over my head. miss the way you talked, laughed and tried so hard every day to just be happy... to make everyone else's problems so much more bearable. I wish every day I could have done for you what you did for me.... every day for almost 4 years, that's roughly 1,460 days....Yes I did use a calculator. NO SHAME! <3 I hope you're sending me good luck from up in the clouds.... cause I'm definitely sending you lots of love from here on earth.<333 rest in peace angel....

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M.Brijesh
11 years ago

Amanda I'm really really sorry for u & ur mom.THIS ISN'T JUST A MSG. I MEAN IT. PLS REST IN PEACE. I saw ur vedeo on youtube, didnt really believe it! I'm sorry! Then I googled ur name. found it was true. Im currently a victim to mass bullying. I too am a victim of bullying right mow but after seeing ur video ive decide to fight back! I'm 16,male & my title shudnt be mistaken with a bad meaning! EVERY WORD I'VE TYPED HERE IS COZ I KNOW HOW SHE HAD FELT BACK THEN!

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Amanda Cota
11 years ago

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Amanda Cota
11 years ago

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Anonymous
11 years ago

well sweety u and i floated out in that big ocean together...did u see those dolphins and hear those wells.....i felt u right there with me.........wow ur 20...i sit and wonder what u would look like today would u be in school still, boyfriend, married, babies.....in all i just miss u so much, i have a very lonley spot in my heart that can only be filled by you....i give anything for one more day, just to briad ur hair..the smell of ur hair....ur hugs...even to hear u tell me ur pretty mommy.....but i know u r better and happy now, and i have to live with that and know we will be together soon...i love you mandy mouse forever in a day~ mom~

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Anita Elayne
11 years ago

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celeste
11 years ago

shes so beautiful im so sorry about your loss my prayers go out there for you, and i agree we needa stop bullying...i have a lil sister and im so worried abt her she cuts herself shes being bullied cus one mistake she did and i do talk to her but im just so worried abt her plz help me i really need help im worried abt my sis im thinking of taking her to counciling....

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celeste
11 years ago

shes so beautiful im so sorry about your loss my prayers go out there for you, and i agree we needa stop bullying...i have a lil sister and im so worried abt her she cuts herself shes being bullied cus one mistake she did and i do talk to her but im just so worried abt her plz help me i really need help im worried abt my sis im thinking of taking her to counciling....

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Anita Elayne
11 years ago

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April
11 years ago

It broke my heart when I watched the youtube video. The mean is a cruel place at times but it is also beautiful. I am so sorry that you had to be a victim of bullying. I am sorry that people had to be so cruel. I wish that bullying would stop. I wish that there was peace and love everywhere. Instead there is hate and it saddens me. It makes my heart ache. You are a very beautiful young girl, your story touched my heart. Rest In Peace.

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Kayla H
11 years ago

I dont know you Amanda but you are one beautiful 16 year old im only 12 years old though! I saw a video on youtube of how & why you chose to shot yourself to hear this makes me feel sad hearted into what this world is turning into. Bullying? Yes ive been bullyed myself & it hurts but I will never chose to shot , kill, or cut myself . Please Rest In Peace & please hold on tight Amandas mother your a sweet person & I respect that!

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APRIALE FLAX
11 years ago

WHEN I WATCHED THE VIDEO I THOUGHT IT WAS FAKE I NEVER NEW THAT PEOPLE WILL BULLY SOMEONE TILL THEY KILL THEMSELF'S ITS HEARTBREAKING TO FIND OUT HOW MANY PEOPLE DIE BECAUSE OF BULLING

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isabel lottie
11 years ago

hey amandy its me again i just cant to to sleep without thinking of y these people did this to you and y it just breaks me and i miss seeing u and going to the mall and just hanging at your house

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isabel lottie
11 years ago

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isabel lottie
11 years ago

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Martha
11 years ago

I thought she was very beatiful.I have heard about a lot of that stuff and it just breaks my heart to hear about that.i would like for her to R.I.P. i am so so sorry.R.I.P. Amenda

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Anonymous
11 years ago

I've been thinking about you a lot today, I'm watching as so many people are causing similar pain in people lives online and it hurts. There is no reason for it and I can't help but feel angry. It hurts so badly that you felt the need to Leave us but it hurts even more that it's not changing the actions of so many people in our community. What can I do?

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Jaye
11 years ago

I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter, Amanda. I know what it's like to be bullied. As a child and teenager, I was quite often bullied and dreamed of ways that I could kill myself. I was fortunate to have my grandma, who I felt able to confide in, and she saved me from doing harm to myself. Thank you for sharing Amanda's story. I can not imagine the heartbreak you and your family have experienced because of her loss and I hope that God will continue to keep you strong.

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lalani alvarez
11 years ago

im sorry for your lost of a loved one . i didnt know your daughter but i seen her name on a story and i thought she is around my age so i wanna read it ,but just remember she is watching over you and will love you forever and ever .

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Giovanni Maldonado
11 years ago

i didnt know your little girl but i wanted to say she was very beautiful its sad that her life was taken and for the pain you go through everyday. i wish i would have known he, she seemed like an amazing person the type of person that any one would be lucky to have in there life. again im sorry for your lose she was very beautiful, model like beautiful, and its sad she was taken.

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N.
11 years ago

I have been having mental breakdowns lately.. Amanda, you're the only thing pulling me through. I think about you EVERYDAY and you keep me strong. I see you in my dreams. You were the only person I was able to talk to in the past. You used to bring pastries to us everyday that you had culinary. You are an AMAZING person. I love you.

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isabel_rod
11 years ago

i am truly sorry for your loss. I am doing a project for school. I chose bullying. Its something close to my heart . I was wondering if you mined sending me a private email telling me your story about how you felt. How you felt when you realized what happened . Why she had done what she did. I have made my whole project around Amanda's story . -Thank you [ izzy_knight@ymail.com if you decide you would want to share and approve of me using Amanda's & your story ]

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11 years ago

i did not know your daughter, but i lost a son (to suicide) my heart goes out to her loved ones. please believe in God's love and pray she is at peace. As long is she is remembered she is loved.

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Anonymous
11 years ago

tomorrow is your sisters 21st bday,and i know she missing u being there,in aug she will be finishing her nursing school for you are her drive, its really sad how people change, she befriend old friends of yours to be closer, and found out in the end even you would of not wanted them around they way they have come to be...this worlds a crazy place, i will b starting a new job soon ill be a voice for children..im nervous but i know ur by moms side leading the light..designing school is almost done...im in hopes it will change my path in life...so i can buy the house we both loved in north dokota style with victorian windows so i can make your pink room in the top floor like we talked about...well im off to bake a cake for ur sister..it will no where be as good as what u baked..just watch me ok and not let me burn it.. i love you mandy mouse

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Thorne
11 years ago

I'm so sorry for your loss, my friend. I do not know her, but I do know the world is more empty without her light shinning in the dark. Myself and my wife were both victims of bullies. God bless you and your family. Amanda is gone but not forgotten.

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Anonymous
11 years ago

I didn;t know amanda but i just want to say i am sorry for her family's pain and suffering, as well as her own. I have been on both sides of the fence when it comes to bullies. I was tormented by a girl all through my freshman year. As a result, I started to take it out on some girls who had nothing to do with it. I never thought of suicide with any conviction but i did consider running away. However, I didn't. I made it through the year and even got to apologize to the two girls I had bullied on the last day of school. I also learned how to have a tough skin and to always find the light in the dark. I learned that my bullie had been having some issues in her life too and, though she never apologized, I forgave her. Now I am living a happy life with my family and friends and am so gladI I never took my life or ran away because I would be missing all of this. I just hope for people to see, all of the crap is just temporary. Life will go on and get better if you let it. There may always be someone who has something horrible to say but just remember that your are special. Everyone is born with a spark and though it may take a while to find it IT IS THERE. Don't let some bullies put it out for good! Please. -SJC

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amy
11 years ago

I dont know Amanda. Upon seeing Amandas youtube video I chose to visit the website. Can you imagine those who bullied Amanda? Can you imagine how they feel? Guilt, sadness..... I know this because I was a bullier, one of many to a girl who also took her own life. It is a miserable existance, you know. Even when the parents forgive you, you dont forgive yourself. You go back and think of what you could have done. Why did I say that? You have that feeling almost immediately after you say it. You feel it. You almost want to take it back but you cant because you already said it, its already done, and all the attention is on you to act cool. The horrible thing is, everyone bullied this girl because she had it good. We were jealous. She was beautiful. She had two older brothers who were there for everything, sports, plays, EVERYTHING. Her Dad, was the coach, her mom was a teacher. She had ALOT of "friends". She had a beautiful house. But she was hurting inside. We were so mean to her. Do you know what we use to say to her?? We use to call her tanorexic. Because one day she came to school and was red from her last tanning session. That stayed with her to the point where she decided not to do it anymore. She used to have beautfiul blonde hair. We were so envious of it. Someone ended up putting gum in it about 3 weeks before she killed herself, she had to cut it short, but it still looked good, and I think that upset the some girls even more. Theres so much more... but the point of my entry is not to dwell on every negative thing that happened but to make it a point as one of the bullies, that the words are not worth taking a life. Take it from someone who knows first hand. You dont want to live across the road from the girl who took her life away because you helped push her down a spiraling hell of depression to the point where it is not worth living anymore. 3 days after Danika passed away, her mom and dad found out by autopsy that Danika was slowly killing herself from the inside. Her kidneys were failing, her body was on it's 7th day of starvation, and she was extremely dehydrated. The doctors say that she probably was unaware of her body shutting down. The stress of going to school every day and dealing with us was literally killing her from the inside out until psychologically, she couldnt handle it anymore. Once agian, trust me, you dont want to be alive on the other end. It is not worth the satisfaction. RIP Amanda <3

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Jessalyn
12 years ago

I haven't gone to bed yet, I can't sleep thinking about today. I figure it's about time I write to you, I've been wanting to since this memorial was set up but couldn't find the words. You were such a beautiful girl and so kind. I was new to the school that year and you were one of very few with welcoming eyes. I miss seeing them everymorning. It still pains me to think about how you must have felt and that it worked out the way it did. But there's no changing the past, or time for regrets so we are all learning to deal down here. I like to imagine your very happy wherever you are, free of pain and stress. I start to read some of these posts from time to time and stop, it almost feels like a violation of privacy lol your loved by so many people Amanda, even those who never knew you have been touched by your life. We love you. I'm trying my best to not dwell today and simply celebrate your life and see the beauty, but it's hard sometimes. It hurts me that you were hurting so deeply. I'm sure its been said before, but I wish I could have changed that. But everything has a purpose and life has a way of working itself out. The birds are chirping outside my window right now while the sun is coming up. I love you Amanda.

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JIm Killam
12 years ago

I did not know her but understand her plight. What she went through was mobbing and gangstalking not bullying. I hate the word bullyicide. Do we call rape bullisex. No we make sure people bring it out of the bully world into the truthful sadistic form we now know comes from workplace mobbing. please read my website www.bookzandblogz.org

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Lindsay Cant
12 years ago

Though I did not know your daughter, my prayers are forever with you at this time of grief. I am hoping to give a talk at my school to young children about this subject, and your gorgeous daughter's story made me break down and cry. I only hope that she can rest in peace and I will tell others her story. RIP forever sweet Amanda.

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Peanut
12 years ago

At the time, it was my freshman year, and i just moved back from Santa Barbara. I started to hang out with my cousin and you. In seconds of talking to you, i could already tell you had the kindest heart, you also gave me the nickname 'Peanut', people call me your special name for me everyday. I remember the days after the first time i met you, you would go out of your way to just ask me how my day was going, a hug, or just a simple smile. I pray for your family <3 God bless.

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Even though I barely knew you you were a great person to speak to. You knew what to do to bring the best out of a person. You knew how to make people laugh & smile. You had the smile that could light up a room n you were the bestet friend anyone could ask for. <3

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Even though I barely knew you It felt like I knew you my entire life. You were an amazing person who knew how to make people laugh n smile. You were a great friend n well at least your in a better place. rest in peace Amanda, <3

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Mackenzie Lehnst
12 years ago

Although I did not know Amanda, I have been praying that you find your peace with her passing in some way over the past few days. I am in a senior speech class right now and I am giving an informative speech. I chose to do mine on the affects of bullying on teens and kids, I can not tell you how many videos I've watched and stories I've read. None of them have stuck in my head more than your beautiful daughter's. I can't express my sorrow for you and her other loved ones enough. I can not imagine the pain you must feel around this Christmas season. My prayers will continually be with you and everyone that surrounded you with love for Amanda. The pain that kids go through today makes my stomach churn; walking through the hallways at my school just makes me sick. The stories, negative comments, and derogatory remarks just astound me. No one truly knows what someone has actually been through. So they have no right so say anything at all. You're daughter was an absolutely stunning girl. I do not understand why anyone would do anything like that to someone; especially her. I hope your holiday season is as enjoyable as it could possibly be. God bless you and your loved ones. My prayers are with you.

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Anonymous
12 years ago

well its that time of year, your fav christmas... decorating not the same, u use to light up at the tree and baking oh how we loved it...and yes ur sister n dad still eat the cookie fast as i can make them...we have to tonya here alot and she helps out with thats also..her thing pumpkin bread n brownies..lol....will be traveling to the east coast for xmas, be first time since u passed that i have seen the family.. road trips are not the same with out you..you my co rider while ur sister slept..lol i know the drive will move my heart for we have alot of fun memories in our road trips and i will u in everything i see...i just miss u more then my heart can bare we all do...i crave ur hugs and ur i love you mommy......i miss u

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Christa
12 years ago

I never ment you never been in the same state but you should have never left this earth... I am trying to bring the issue of cyber bullying to attention of people who forget and when i came across your story i actually cried... you will be a big part of my inspiration and i show nothing but love and support for your family and i hope everyone can help prevent this

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Anonymous
12 years ago

Hey, I miss you. So much. Talk to your momma an sissy alot, but I bet you know that becaus when I'm with them I can feel you around us. It's nice(: I know you look down on all of us. I can't go a day without thinking of how much I miss you. I even asked for you the other night before I went to bed. Needed someone to talk to. I love when I go home and I smell the sweet smell of your mommas house because it reminds me of you. <3 I cant wait to see you when I do. We all miss you more then you can imagine. Be good up there. Love you.

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VENANCIO RODRIGUES
12 years ago

young, beautiful and suicidal ... I do not understand. I AM FROM BRAZIL.

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Anita Elayne
12 years ago

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hailey marineau
11 years ago

thats so pretty im srry for your loss she is so pretty and shouldnt of listen to thoes who told her all lies who cares if she had problems tlking and was short and was skinny and born 2 months early that dnt give ppl the right to pick on people people r born the way they are and they cnt help it but still it was wrong for them to do that to her good luck on everything ....wen u saw the video u made for her i cryed alot it rly touched me alot and again im soooo srry <3

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kelly baker
11 years ago

I am a mother of three girls 10,17and 19. They are all about to turn a year older and I had my first daughter when I was 20 so in a way I have grown alot with my older 2. having all girls is a wonderful experience but crazy. We are close and yet sometimes so distant. We have tons of fun together and there are times we argue and then of course theres all the problems that come with just being a girl, a young women. Boys can be such a grief for them at times. especially one paticular for my middle daughter and she is so broken hearted right now and she gave up all her friends to hang out with him. Now after 2 years of them hanging out together they broke up and there are some things she don't want to talk about and I can tell she is so sad and unfortunately there has been two suicides in my family. Grandfather and cousin so I worry about depression especially with my middle girl. She sleeps all the time and says she doesn't want to go to school since this break up. I have spoke to her about suicide recently and I make sure to make her get out with me when I leave the house and make sure to keep her busy and just try to be happy so hopefully it rubs off. I worry myself sick.. Your story breaks my heart and theres so much I don't understand. I can't understand why such a happy and fun loving girl would want to leave this world for good. By the advice she gave friends it seems she was to smart to let those bullies bother her so much. It really makes me question my thoughts and feelings about what to look for as far as signs. I donj't know if I could be as strong as you. I don't know if I could keep going if I lost a child I know u have to for your family but the pain would be horrific! You are sincerely amazing and I think by sharing your story you have helped alot of mothers and children. Stay strong. I hope the days are a little easier to get through. Please if you ever want to talk or have advice feel free to email me. kjbaker1973@gmail.com Goodnight, Kelly Baker

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Anonymous
12 years ago

I was thinking about you a lot when I went to the beach last week, I was kinda wondering how you'd like a stone down on the Cambria cliff/hills? Maybe a hot pink one or something..... I dunno, just a thought I wanted to share<3 I miss you a lot :(( I was also thinking about getting a pink butterfly behind my ear for you.... you always had a knack for hearing my pain and making it better..... it still hurts me I couldnt make yours better the way you made mine</3

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Anonymous
12 years ago

well this weeks been a tuff one ..have to learn to let your sister go she 20 years old and she needs to fall and i got to stop catching cuz im not helping her learn by catching her every fall....she just become so mean toward me.....maybe u can reach down and smack her one. ....you childhood friend josh will be coming on the 15 to spend few weeks he is such a wonderful person...you be proud of the young man he became , and glad he safe back from iraq...nationals and fair time are almost here...makes me think of all those crazy years we spent at them...fun and not so fun times....i still try hard to out run that sunday and what i saw....and try to get it out of my head..and remember ur beautiful face the way it always been for 16 years..but even after the two years those night float in....trying to save everyone elses heart and feeling find myself sinking on my own at times..but you know mom.. i brush myself off and raise the next day for they can not break me......so i go in soon to have the knee replaced..they said im starting to break alot....i go in soon for body scan..if it comes back neg.. i have decided to opt out this time on treatment.. my body tired as is my mind...and think i had a pretty good run in this ole life....i cant wait to be with you again.... i miss everything about even the simplest things as the smell of your hair....you keep that light on for me baby..one day i promise mommy will come home to you...i love you mandy mouse!!!

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tonya
12 years ago

i miss you so much. my heart still hurts from you not being here. going to cayucos is a sense of comfort for me because i feel so close to you. cant wait to see your face again. i have so much to tell you. i love you and miss you beyond words could say

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Dani Cota
12 years ago

Lifes been moving so fast yet it still just feels like it happened yesterday, i still miss u more then ever sissy. im still waiting for you to come back home, cause to this day it still dosent feel real to me. we were each others best friends, and your note still clings to my heart .. i love you baby sis<3

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Anonymous
12 years ago

its been nice sitting with u last few weekends in this beautiful weather which i so know u had everything to do with....did you enjoy the peeps for easter i brought you?as you know sissy doing wonderful met a great great person but i think u had your hands in on this very much so....im almost finish with school...then ill do some traveling i know you will be by my side as my side kick as always..that how we always do it nothing changes just time right!!!well tomorrow mothers day...i think its the most hardest day since u left me..., i was in the garden and looking at my stepping stone you made me years ago..think its the best gift right up there next to your hugs...i advoid celebrating it anymore..dani kind of out grew it and her new founded life is amazing i dont want to change it..and you know me..ill just hide out and let it pass...well i have dishes to do ..and dad on his way home....i love you baby forever and ever in a day

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Anita Elayne
12 years ago

I've missed you so so much :( It seems like everytime I turn around lately there's someone or something that's making me miss you more and more. I hate it.... It makes me so sad to know I have to wait till I die to see you again... to finally get to hangout like you always said we would</3 I'm going to make a memorial for you at the beach the next time I go... I hope you love it and bless it with your presence once in awhile<3

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